A Symbol of Hegemonic Disgrace

Earlier today, I made the mistake of not going to the natural foods cooperative in my town and instead decided to patronize the large supermarket closer to my house. Even though they sell genetically modified produce and hormone-laced meats, I figured that there would still be some food that I could eat without vomiting or growing extra body hair afterwards. Besides, the supermarket is much closer than the coop, so I would save on gas money, which in turn could save the life of an innocent Iraqi.

When I got to the supermarket, I immediately realized that I had made a huge mistake. As I searched the asiles of mutant food products searching for something organic, I saw one thing in particular that ruined my day. As you know, neocons love supermarkets, and this store had plenty of them, with their whining, corporate-drone children in tow.

One of the neocons stuck out among the rest. This 40-something white male had a shirt with the American flag on it, which was annoying enough. Not satisfied to merely flaunt his militaristic ideology, the neocon's shirt also said, "Is there a problem with my shirt? Call 1-800-LEAVE-THE-US." How trite. If I didn't know for certain that this neanderthal would get violent with me for saying something, I would have told him the truth about his hero, George W. Bush.

But that sort of thing never works with neocons. So I did what I had to do. As soon as I got out in the parking lot, I saw a truck with a "W" sticker on it. That had to be his, so I placed a nice scratch on it, just to teach him a lesson.